With these bottles of DMT cough syrup and this mickey of everclear I will finally cease to exist. I’m so sorry. I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight. Taras, bro I’m sorry for what I’m about to do I didn’t want it to come to this. I didn’t want to end like this but I guess I’ll call it my Alt. End. You’ve always been there for me but I just can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m tired of this place, I want out. If God lets me die tonight, you can have all my guitars, pedals, amps and all my other equipment. Brett, you can take whatever you want from my room if anything, I’m sorry for leaving this way I know I’m weak. Justina, beautiful, I’m sorry, I told you I wouldn’t give up but tbh I have up a long long time ago. My heart is dead, crushed and burned. And I wanted to turn back again but I realize that this actually is for the best. Dale, Berri, Melly and Jobeen I love you guys to death. You guys are the best friends I’ve ever had. Sorry it had to end like this. Mom and Dad I’m sorry, I hate this place and if I can’t be my own I’d feel better dead. I’m not depressed, I’m not crazy, I’m not psycho, in reality I came to the logical conclusion that taking my own life would do me a great deal of good. I must insist on being a pessimist, I’m a loner in a catastrophic mind. Stranded, lost inside myself. My wok worst friend and my own closest enemy. Myself.
I’m sorry Eva I’m gonna miss you.
Btw I’m gonna miss you Blueberry Muffin, my beautiful little furry bear dog. I’m down in a hole. To Amelia I want you to know that I was just using you our whole relationship. To fat kid, I’m gonna miss you little bro, I’ll see you eventually I promise. Then we can play baseball all day and airsoft all night. To beautiful I want you to know I won’t forget you. You might hate me but I don’t hate you, tbh I love you to death. I was hoping we could be friends again but I guess that’s gonna have to wait even longer now. See you in heaven. I always knew it would come to this. Things have never been so swell, I have never felt this well.